Count the Bodies Like Sheep

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T o o l [Prison Sex]

It took so long to remember just what happened.
I was so young and vestal then, you know it hurt me,
but I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive,
even if signs seem to tell me otherwise.
I've got my hands bound, my head down,
my eyes closed, and my throat's wide open.
(Do unto others what has been done to me.)
(Do unto others what has been done to you.)
I'm treading water, I need to sleep a while.
My lamb and martyr, you look so precious.
Won't you, won't you come a bit closer,
close enough so, I can smell you.
I need you to feel this,
I can't stand to burn too long.
Released in this sodomy.
For one sweet moment I am whole.

(Do unto you now what has been done to me.)
(Do unto you now what has been done.)
You're breathing so I guess you're still alive
even if signs seem to tell me otherwise.
Won't you, won't you come just a bit closer,
close enough so I can smell you.
I need you to feel this.
I need this to make me whole.
Release in this sodomy.
For I am your witness that blood and flesh can be trusted
I am your witness that blood and flesh can be trusted
And only this one holy medium brings me piece of mind.

Got your hands bound, your head down,
and your eyes closed. You look so precious now.

I have found some kind of temporary sanity in this
shit blood and cum on my hands.
I've, come, round, full circle.

My lamb and martyr, this will be over soon.
You look so precious.
You look so precious.
You look so precious.
You look so precious.
You look so precious now.
You look so precious.

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October 2006

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31 October 2006 @ 09:16 pm

'Tis the night to get plastered off m' ass

I don't think I've ever been so sad in my life. I feel like I used to altrough out my life. I've been so happy the past few months. I'm too hurt to cry. I don't see many moments like that. This is the worst Halloween ever.

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04 June 2006 @ 01:27 am

I'm in Kitty Hawk with Eri & Mike. We're nging out with Kerry & co. Everyone is either sleeping or passed out [especially Mike. He's had a little too much for the night]. Except for me, bored out of my mind again... listening to music, looking at gay porn & randomly decided to update. Today was a lot of fun, after we got here we took Kerry to see the sand dunes. Then he went to work so we hung out with one of his roommates, Derek. The 4 of us went to play on the beach for a while. We went to the suvenier store and I took a butterfly moodring, a butterfly moodneckless, an earring [on the way over here I lost one so had to get a replacement], and a keychain thay said "this is your ass in jail, [had a small dot then shows a bigger dot] This is your ass after jail. Any questions?" Then to the dunes again, then to the craft fare or something or the other.. Afterwards we hung out at the beach house 'till we decided to go set off fireworks down on the beach. Everybody here is really cool. Oh and the ride over here was hell. Mike kept picking on me for doing something baaad [I'm really ashamed of this one..].

So, we're plaaning on staying here 'till Tuesday. More to come soon then. Maybe even a tan on my pale ass. Who knows.

Current Location: Kitty Hawk, NC

> My Current Mood Is:

cold

> I'm Listening To: Greenday's "Homecoming"

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25 May 2006 @ 06:25 pm

Okay, I don't have that much to say. In fact I have nothing to say that is of any importance to anyone or anything. Mood swings suck, I don't get often. About once a month. I they're so drastic it's like I'm schizo or something.

> My Current Mood Is:

indescribable

> I'm Listening To: Tool's "Undertow"

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15 May 2006 @ 02:00 pm

Went to the mill today to get more floor plans....then to the mall, I got a cd, a poster, this key chain thing, and I got two new pierces in my right ear. I had a lot of fun :)

> My Current Mood Is:

Really happy ^_^

> I'm Listening To: Breaking Benjamin's "Next To Nothing"

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02 May 2006 @ 01:16 pm

THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!

Mike's stupid bitch of an ex won't leave us the fuck alone! She keeps leaving messages on our Myspaces & making other usernames and pretending that shes someone else & saying that we're cheating on each other. I'm so fucking sick of her, I blocked her from sending any messages, but if this shit keeps coming I'm going to fucking kick her ass. It's really fucking annoying having this bitch stalk us at constantly. I wouldn't even be surprised if she knows my journal name.

> My Current Mood Is:

pissed off

> I'm Listening To: Crossfade's "Dead Skin"

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23 April 2006 @ 10:44 pm

Went on a date last night with Mike, had a LOT of fun. No details seeing as I told almost everyone I know [that has a Live Journal, anyway]. I'm going to work tomorrow @ 7 AM, hoping I get off early.

> My Current Mood Is:

irritated

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20 April 2006 @ 12:31 pm

My schedule this far:

TODAY, April 20 Pick up my check, go to Truliant to open an account.
FRIDAY, April 21 Go out to eat with the family, then to Charlotte's birthday party.
SATURDAY, April 22 Go to the movies with Erica, David, & Mike. Maybe next to the mall.
SUNDAY, April 23 Celebrate Bruce's birthday [its actualy the 24th]
MONDAY, April 24 Work all day starting at 7AM.
TUESDAY, April 25 Work all day starting at 7AM.
WEDNESDAY, April 26 Work all day starting at 7AM.
THURSDAY, April 27 Work all day starting at 7AM.
FRIDAY, April 28 Work all day starting at 7AM.
SATURDAY, April 29 Work all day starting at 7AM.
SUNDAY, April 30 Work all day starting at 7AM.
MONDAY, May 1 Work all day starting at 7AM.
TUESDAY, May 2 Relax day! Also Tool's new CD comes out, so I might even go to the mall to get it.

..Eh, at least I'll make a lot next check, huh?

> My Current Mood Is:

busy

> I'm Listening To: Tool's "Lateralus"

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18 April 2006 @ 11:05 pm

I gotta work tomorrow, but Thursday I get my paycheck <3!!!! Agh, I'm already ready to go shopping for some new music :/. I need to free up a day so I can have time to go out with Mike.

> My Current Mood Is:

okay

> I'm Listening To: Journey's "I'm Crying"

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17 April 2006 @ 06:39 pm

I Took An AOL Test..

..About money, this is what I got [without cheating!]

Your score: 7 out of 9

Mint condition. You must pay close attention to your funds

1. Abraham Lincoln is on the $5 and the penny
2. Andrew Jackson is on the $20
3. Ulysses Grant is on the $50
4. Benjamin Franklin is on the $100
5. Thomas Jefferson is on the nickel
6. Franklin Roosevelt is on the dime
7. George Washington is on the quarter
8. Thomas Jefferson is on the $2
9. Alexander Hamilton is on the $10

I didn't know that there was another Roosevelt... I guessed Teddy Roosevelt... Damnit.. Everything that I got right I didn't guess.. I've only seen a 2 dollar bill once.

> My Current Mood Is:

Geeky, but the good kind

> I'm Listening To: Eve 6

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17 April 2006 @ 12:32 am

Count Down of Rock Stars [or something like that]

"Inelegantly Wasted: Locking himself away in his apartment and doing drugs for five years until he died, only to be found two weeks later after his accountant noticed he hadn't spent any money for a while, Staley's was one of the grimmest rock deaths ever. Despite selling 11 million albums, Alice in Chains were always in the shadow of the twin peaks of Seattle rock, Nirvana and Pearl Jam. Similarly, after Kurt Cobain sensationally took his own life, Staley's death--long after grunge's own--caused little stir. A local vigil held the day after his body was discovered drew only 200 mourners.
Breaking the Chain: No new material has been posthumously released. In 2005, Alice in Chains performed a Tsunami benefit show with guest singers including Maynard James Keehan of Tool, but there are no permanent reunion plans.
Memory Layne: Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder recorded the tribute "4/20/02," a reference to the date he heard of Staley's death. Staind also marked the singer's passing with the song "Layne." Staley's mother, Nancy McCallum, established the Layne Staley Fund, a drug-treatment charity for heroin-addicted musicians that hosts an annual benefit."

See anything weird about that? 'Sposed to say "Keenan", not Keehan. Anyway, I got this count down thing from AOL a few days ago. It starts at 50. Staley was at no. 50 & Kurt Cobain was at no. 8. The best thing about the article was the headers above each persons picture, Cobain's said "He Did Have A Gun", very good humor.

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16 April 2006 @ 12:56 pm

Okay, mmm I'm bored.

> My Current Mood Is:

bored

> I'm Listening To: Tool's "Prison Sex"

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15 April 2006 @ 02:04 am

Kinda sad & frustrated about some stuff. I just don't know what to do

> My Current Mood Is:

sad

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14 April 2006 @ 10:34 am

I loves me some guy-action!

Esspecially when its one of my favorite bands...

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Guess who wants to see GD in concert now ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

> I'm Listening To: "Flood" by Tool

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14 April 2006 @ 09:14 am

I went over to Mike's then all of us met up with Erica & Josh at Hams. I like the following songs the first band played Alice in Chains' "Wound?", Black Sabbath's "War Pigs", & Tool's "Sober". I had a lot of fun last night. That's the 3rd time I went somewhere without my sister [weird, huh?].

Anyway, a lot more happend last night, but I'm not gonna get into 'cause right now I'm gonna watch Dawn of the Dead ['78 version] with my baby brother.

I know when you see what I'm listening to, you'll be like:
"MORE TOOL?! WHAT THE FUCKS WRONG WITH THIS STUPID BITCH?!?!"
No, I'm just lazy and don't want to change the CD. If I weren't lazy I'd play some Boston.

> My Current Mood Is:

tired

> I'm Listening To: "Swamp Song" by Tool

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11 April 2006 @ 02:16 pm

OK, I want to hurry up and get my paycheck :(. I need to get more hours in because I'm probably only going to make about $60 dollars on this one. If I don't, I won't have any money left over to start a bank account [I owe quite a bit to my sister, Erica, & aunt, Vanessa]. This week's schedule was all filled up, I'm hoping they'll get me in at least 3 days before the 20th.

> My Current Mood Is:

pulling my hair out

> I'm Listening To: "Parabola" Tool

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08 April 2006 @ 08:44 pm

First few days of work were hard. Oh, and I really like two brothers that I'm working with, they're adorable ^_^. Desci bought me a lighter that say "Japanese Punk Sucks" its the coolest thing ever! Today I've felt kinda empty and sad. This is the first time I've felt like this for a few weeks [I feel this way almost 90% of the time].

> My Current Mood Is:

sad

> I'm Listening To: "The Noose" by A Perfect Circle

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07 April 2006 @ 12:16 pm

Okay... had 8 hours of sleep in the past 4 days...Went to work yesterday... so sore & tired... Have to do a party @ 5... clean my room [there are clothes on the floor, damnit!], okay well night night.

> My Current Mood Is:

sleepy

> I'm Listening To: "TheOutsider"by A Perfect Circle

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05 April 2006 @ 10:29 pm

About Time, Mother Fucker!

I FINALLY got my birth certificate & ID card. I look soo much like my mom, its not even funny. I showed it to my grandpa and he was like "How do you spell *Nicole*?" and I said "Not the normal way? I don't think mom & dad could spell back then." Of course I was just joking. BTW, Tool's coming out with a nw CD & I'm so excited ^_^, & I hear they'll be touring this summer. If so, I don't care how much it costs, I'll work my ass off to go. Even if I have to go by myself [though I'd much rather my sister or aunt going with me].

> My Current Mood Is:

excited

> I'm Listening To: "The Grudge" by Tool

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03 April 2006 @ 07:10 pm

I went to the mall yesterday and got Red Hot Chili Peppers Greatest HIts because I wanted "By the Way" & "Soul To Squeeze" [only available on this CD]. When I got home I realized I coulda gotten someone to burn it for me. I wish I had an ID card because I found A Perfect Circle's eMotive, mother fucking parental advisory stickers suck. I also got a CD book for my CDs. Turns out by myself I have over 24, sounds like someone needs t go CD shopping ^_^. Oh, and I got a key chain thing that says "Do a Magic Trick For Me - DISAPPEAR" and its yellow with stars on it.

I finally convinced dad to take Erica & me to the courthouse to get our birth certificates. I can't find my social security card. I don't think you can get a certificate without the SSC. We're supposed to go TOMORROW. AHH I'M FUCKING FREAKING OUT!!

> I'm Listening To: "Brain Stew" by Green Day

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03 April 2006 @ 07:03 pm

I made a new CD with Kerry's help [he's soo sweet ^_^], these are the tracks:

"Passive" by A Perfect Circle
"Imagine" by A Perfect Circle
"Here's to the Night" by Eve 6
"Inside Out" by Eve 6
"Brain Stew" by Green Day
"Closer" by Nine Inch Nails
"Scars" by Papa Roach
"Sober" by Tool
"Right Here, Right Now" by Van Halen
"Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon

Mix CD Commentary: A Perfect Circle's "Imagine" is a cover of John Lennon. I acually didn't like Jennon's song, but A Perfect Cicle did a great job on it, they made it easy to listen to. NIN's "Closer", why not, right? I like the song. Papa Roach's "Scars" this is the only song I can like by them [that I've heard]. Van Halen's "Right Here, Right Now" love this song, love this band. Vertical Horizon's "Everything You Want" This one I've like since I was little [pre-teen].

Special Thanks ^_^: Kerry for burning it & for having these songs on his computer.

> I'm Listening To: "Here's to the Night" by Eve 6

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